I admit it, I LOVE a really bad shark movie! I’m not ashamed. Every Shark Week I troll through the SY-FY channel to see what’s on. They can always be counted on to give me something to watch. The plotlines are ridiculous, the special effects are always awful and the acting usually leaves a lot to be desired. And I couldn’t care less! They’re fun, they’re campy and always good for a laugh. Now Shark Week is here and most of us are in some form or another of quarantined (depending on where you live), and it’s just been really hot out. So here’s a list of my favorite, awful shark movies to help you pass the time:
Ghost Shark – Yep…he’s a ghost! A shark is tortured and killed and comes back as a ghost. As you know, sharks need water, but when you’re a ghost that water doesn’t necessarily have to be in the ocean! The ghost is discovered by a bunch of teenagers who decide to try to stop it. Luckily they have the cranky lighthouse keeper (played by Richard Moll) to help them out. Be careful when you’re running for the Slip’N Slide!
Santa Jaws – I kid you not. A boy makes a wish on Christmas to be alone (not exactly enjoying family time). Unfortunately for him, someone gave him a magic pen and it conjures up a crazy Chrstmas shark that kills his family. He’s got Christmas lights in his teeth, a Santa hat on his fin, and is apparently part narwhal, because he has a candy cane striped horn on his head!
Atomic Shark – Radioactive shark. The usual nuclear accident scenario, only now it’s a shark. He’s killing fish and people all over the place. Oh and of course, he could blow up at any moment. Good thing they have those brave lifeguards to stop it! And if you’ve been wondering what David Faustino from Married with Children has been up to…here you go!
Sharktopus – The standard secret military weapon creation gone wrong folks. Thanks to some genetic messing around, we now have a half shark, half octopus on our hands. You’ll be shocked to find out that it escapes. So the military sends a former mercenary and his daughter to catch it. I guess it was “take your daughter to work day”. Since the military never learns its lesson in these movies, you can follow it up with Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda and Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf.
Zombie Shark a/k/a Shark Island – A weekend vacation doesn’t end well for some friends when they find out that there are zombie sharks in the water. Sharks bite people, people turn into zombies, zombies make more zombies, you get it. How to destroy the zombies and the sharks before it becomes the zombie apocalypse? Good question. You’ll have to watch it.
Dinoshark – If we don’t start paying attention to all the warnings about global warming, we could be in for more trouble that we realize! After the ocean gets hotter than it should be, a hibernating half dinosaur half shark creature comes to life. As you can imagine, it’s hungry AF. And his first dinner buffet is anyone vacationing in Mexico.
Sharknado – All of them!! The second is my favorite. I think by now everyone has seen at least one of them. Some are better than others, some should never have been made. But if you’re looking for something ridiculously cheesy, and has sharks in it, this is the way to go.
So skip the beach (you might get eaten by a shark, forget the virus!), stay home in the a/c, make some popcorn and enjoy the ridiculousness. But afterwards, don’t forget to watch Jaws!