You’ve Been A Bad Girl!

I got a lot of responses to the article about torture devices aimed at men.  (Click here)  ESPECIALLY from the guys (sorry gentlemen!). So I figured I’d make the guys happy and discuss the ladies for a bit. And it hurts to think about it!! But all’s fair in the world of torture I suppose. In our defense..at least we were in trouble for something besides getting off!  (even if it was stupid). 

Men from the middle ages needed to get a grip! Women were punished and tortured for the absolute dumbest reasons! Gossiping? You know the men did it too. Talking too much?? (I never would have survived the Middle Ages! ) Witchcraft?  Don’t even get me started. That’s a whole other article! And why the hell weren’t we allowed to have sex? Not every woman wants to get married, sometimes we just want to get laid. So look out ladies – here we go!

• Burning at the stake – I thought I’d start with the obvious one.  We all know women suspected of being a witch were burned at the stake. However, that wasn’t the only reason.  You would also be burned for killing your husband or committing treason. Some women were lucky and either hanged or stabbed before the fire started burning them.

• Thewe – If you were caught gossiping you were going to end up looking like an idiot. A thewe is similar to a stockade.  If you did things like gossiping, annoying people by talking too much, or having sex when you weren’t married…in you go! You would be chained by your neck to a post. The punishment itself was humiliating, and you would be at the mercy of anyone that passed by.

• The Scold’s Bridle –  This was another punishment for women that gossiped.  It was a metal frame with a plate that went inside the mouth. The plate had a spike attached that touched the tongue. If the woman tried to talk, swallow, or move her head – the spike would puncture her tongue. 

• Nose Removal – If you were a prostitute (or even just sleeping around), you’ll never stop and smell the roses again! A woman’s nose was considered a symbol of her beauty.  Promiscuity was punishable by nose mutilation or removal. Sometimes their ears were cut off too.

• The Shrew’s Fiddle a/k/s The Shrew’s Yoke – Apparently men can’t handle women fighting.  The Shrew’s Fiddle was a wooden piece that went around the neck, and then around the wrist. It looked almost like the woman was holding a fiddle. Sometimes a bell was attached to it so people would hear every time the woman moved. There was also a double version.  Two women were locked in face to face, and wouldn’t be released until they resolved their argument.

• The Cucking Stool –  This was used solely for humiliation. Again for the gossip and the promiscuous. You would be strapped in a chair with a hole cut in the bottom, and hung from a pole so everyone can see.

• The Ducking Stool – Like the Cucking Stool wasn’t bad enough. The woman was submerged under water repeatedly. This sometimes killed them.

Sorry ladies! Trust me – I did not enjoy writing this. Lucky for us times have changed! So go out, talk up a storm, get laid and get your witch on!